“Most people are not really free. They are confined by the niche in the world they carve out for themselves. They limit themselves to fewer possibilities by the narrowness of their vision,” writes V.S. Naipaul, Nobel Laureate.

But not my sister. Not now anyway. For years, she felt confined in a place that no longer fulfilled her despite the healthy income that helped ease her day-to-day grind.  Real estate had been her niche, and she was a master at her craft. Yet still, meaning was missing, so when the market crashed she decided it was time to carve out a new life for herself. Acting courageously, she let go of the stuff that once defined her existence, a beautiful home in the suburbs and all the trappings that went along with it.

It was time for journey, but to where, she wasn’t certain. The one thing she knew for sure was that travel had a place in her plan. Like all good creators, my sister began with a single idea—a road trip across the U.S.A.—a dream in itself that opened her to new people and places, vistas unseen. After 3 months of traveling, she landed in a California, temporarily settling into a casita in a place called Shell Beach. There, her body relaxed and her mind opened to new possibilities. But there too, her pocket change dwindled after months without income. She could have let fear stop her from enrolling in travel school. But she knew what she wanted now. She felt compelled to invest in her dream, to feed it with time, money, and action, so it could manifest into reality.

Energized, she started the New Year with her first travel assignment, directing a few tours for the Tournament of Roses. She was jazzed! A few weeks later, she flew back to Atlanta to attend a travel conference to meet potential employers, and then afterward, flew to NYC to sit for a tour guide exam. She was on her way to creating what she wanted–a tour director job with a reputable travel company.

Her vision was clear. That was the good news. The bad news, however, was that her money was running out. Fear was creeping in; doubt taking hold. After sixteen months of envisioning her dream, my sister was questioning her choices. No one was replying to her emails or resume blasts, not even the world-renowned travel group who she had interviewed with several times. Was her dream about to die? Would she have to return to a real estate, a career she no longer wanted, or worse yet, drain her retirement savings and end up living in her car?

I prayed she’d hang in there. I knew in my heart she had done what was necessary, feeding her dream with concrete action. She was so close to the precipice, it made no sense to turn back. As I reflected on her sojourn, I recalled a famous quotation from The Scottish Himalayan Expedition, written by W.H. Murray in the year of my sister’s birth. It exemplified her commitment…

Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth, the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. All sort of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred.  A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one’s favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man [or woman] could have dreamed would have come his [or her] way. I have learned a deep respect for one of Goethe’s couplets: whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it.

Something magical was about to happen. I got a call from my sister the first week in March. “I got it!” she cheered. “I’m heading to Alaska to start my new job as a Tour Director for Holland America. “Of course you are,” I acknowledged her with pride. “You know how to create what you want,” I affirmed. “You did it!”

Like all masterful creators, my sister started with a concept, and idea of what she wanted. She experimented and explored until a vision came to mind. She never forced an end result, but instead, kept moving in the direction of her dream, allowing it to unfold and become clearer each day. She took steady action, consistently seizing opportunities and gaining knowledge as she went along. Each step led to greater insight; every insight led to a more certain plan. In the midst of it all, she never buckled under pressure. She didn’t allow fear to stop her. At the same time, she didn’t ignore reality either. She tightened her budget and relinquished a life style that had once been comfortable, yet incomplete.

My sister, whom I deeply admire, is no longer confined by a “niche” that doesn’t fulfill her.  She’s heading to Alaska next week to begin a new career in the “Land of Promise.” Free and unencumbered, her bold vision has come alive. Bon Voyage, dear sister. I love you!

I just returned from a long, luxurious walk. The sky was crystal blue, the air crisp and clean, the landscape speckled with fresh green buds sprouting from the limbs of young and old trees. No matter the age of the maple, oak, or birch, all were springing amazing new life. They had weathered the cold winter, bare naked, together. And today, their remarkable resilience was bringing them back to a state of glorious renewal. I was in awe.

Yesterday I witnessed a different sort of mother nature–the natural beautiful of a young mother, a former drug addict, who was clean and sober for 126 days. She was beaming, proud of her progress in treatment and enthralled with the reunification with her child. She was ready to create a vision of renewed life, for in her mind, spring had sprung. But had it, really? Could the resilience she mustered in one blush of spring ensure that she would never use drugs again?

Unlike seedlings that take root in solid ground, many addicts grow up in family systems where the ground is not secure. Emotional growth is hindered by the lack of a secure attachment to a primary caregiver. Research has shown that this lack can lead to maladaptive patterns of social and emotional regulation, and in certain individuals, to the use of drugs and alcohol as a buffer for psychological distress.

I share this information, not to discount this young woman’s progress or motivation for fulfilling her dreams, but as a commentary to the importance of diving deep beneath the surface of our addictions to the roots of our emotional disconnections.  Despite the thousands of people who participate in alcohol and drug treatment programs annually, success rates continue to be low. Research is still unclear about the reason for this, but based on my knowledge and experience in the field, I believe that there isn’t enough time, or more importantly, enough trust, to delve deeper into our roots and heal them.

This beautiful young mother had the courage to face winter’s harsh reality with people who truly cared for her, and as a result, she grew resilient–at least for one season. But there is much more growth to come for her, that is, if she chooses it. Winters will come and winters will go, unless of course you live in Tahiti:-) There are people on the planet who had the good fortune to grow up in parental paradise, individuals who are emotionally secure. But for many of us, addicts and non-addicts alike, we need to continually cycle through seasons of growth to strengthen the ground of our being.

Growth is hard, and growing alone is unnatural. We need to be nurtured, again and again, over the course of many seasons, especially if our emotional growth was stilted in childhood. Courageously, we’ll need to plant ourselves in relationships with others who know how to care for us in winter. When we do, spring will come, and in time, it will do so with greater ease. Our roots will deepen, our relationships will flourish, and just like the budding trees in spring, our resilience will strengthen and give way to renewed life.

Something within me has shifted. I sit quietly today, grateful for the time I have to contemplate my future. I am living between two worlds, a yesterday filled with an established identity and a tomorrow filled with unknown possibilities. At times the tension between the two is maddening, but today, the mystery intrigues me.

Could it be that the world is offering me hope? I watch in amazement, profoundly moved by resolute citizens demanding change in the Middle East. They know what they want. They stand steadfast in their quest to transform a society. Their courage is unparalleled. Fear will not stop them.

My last entry conveyed the importance of holding the tension between our current reality and new possibilities for our future. Most of us realize what it is we’d like to change —meaningless work, unhealthy relationships, stressful days, lonely nights. We know what we don’t want–the unhappiness, the frustration, the discomfort, the fear–so we jump in head first, determined to replace the old with the new. We find a new job, get into a new relationship, take a vacation to wind us down or a new volunteer assignment to wind us up. Problem is, we often end up in the same old place, making superficial changes to the exterior of our lives, while our interior dimensions remain the same.

Einstein said, “Problems cannot be solved at the same level of awareness that created them.” It’s an amazing time in human history. Evolutionary change is happening right before our eyes. One man’s unwillingness to sell out to a corrupt regime set a nation on course to create a hopeful new vision. The tension we’ve witnessed in high-definition offers a profound example of how transformational change occurs. It happens not by replacing the old with the new, but instead, standing strong between the polarities of what has been and what we hope will be.

My life and my desire at this moment may seem inconsequential to the story playing out on the world stage. But my life is consequential, and my desire to transform it is very real to me. Robert Fritz, the author I mentioned in my previous blog entry, defines a framework for creating what he defines as structural tension. He writes,

“To change the structure there must be another structure in play, and this structure must take precedence over the old structure, so that the path of least resistance will change and the energy may move easily along that new path.”

The people of the Middle East have set a new structure in play–a vision of democracy fueled by civil resistance. They’re no longer willing to accept an old reality based on corruption, economic turmoil, and lack of free speech. The momentum they’ve created is unprecedented in their history. As creators of change, they’ve harnessed the tension between the two and engaged the forces at play.

I’m in awe of these people, for their courageous actions are unfathomable. Despite the odds against them, they are masterfully creating change as defined by Robert Fritz: 1) establishing a clear vision of their future, 2) confronting the truth of their current reality, 3) taking courageous action, assessing what works and what actions need modified in the present, 4) using the seeds of their movement to take root at a deeper level, and finally, 5) building on the momentum to strengthen a new structure.

The people of the Middle East are modeling the way to creative change, holding the tension between what is and what they hope will be. Between the two poles lies a sea of possibilities, but the only possibilities that make sense in pursuing, are those that align with their vision–a free society.

Determining the result we want is paramount. Before doing anything, we must first create a concrete picture in our mind. I’m pleased to report that my picture keeps getting clearer after experimenting and exploring several possibilities. I’ll tell you more in my next entry, when we focus solely on the first few steps of the creative process as defined by Fritz, conceptualizing and visioning.

My mind wonders back to a luminous image, “Yes, we can!” shouts a determined Barack Obama to a sea of hopeful followers. Before sitting down to blog yesterday, I jotted “I’m determined to create a new reality for myself in 2011, ‘cause God knows, 2010 sucked!”

My intention was to write an entry that inspired me (and maybe you) to get on with the business of recreating life, the subtitle of this blog. Determination seemed like a logical place to start. In my quest to identify meaningful quotes to add to my writing, I pulled an old book off the shelf appropriately titled “Creating”, by Robert Fritz. I flipped opened a page, discovering a section heading which ironically challenged my premise…You Don’t Need Determination. “I should have known better,” I smirked. The words rang true…

Determination is a short-term motivational manipulation that is designed to overcome inertia, procrastination, and ineptitude. The power of determination runs out awfully fast….You cannot build momentum based on determination or through other forms of willpower manipulations.

Obama’s determination may have helped him get elected to the presidency, but sadly, it hasn’t lifted people out of difficult times. Motivational rhetoric is a useless tool in building momentum for change. Sure, it might pump us up for a day or two, and even help someone get off his or her butt to vote. But in reality, taking action without taking time to determine what you really want and where you really are will get you nowhere really fast.

Taking time – time to explore, to dream and to describe, not just where we’re headed, but where we are in the present moment – is essential to our creative process. Most folks realize the importance of envisioning what they want, but few, according to Fritz, describe what they currently have in relationship to the result they want. With determination, we drive toward change, focusing on what’s yet to take form without consideration of what currently exists. In this place, there’s nothing to ground us and no tension to resolve between where we are and where we’d like to be. Movement becomes arbitrary without a beginning and an end.

Over the next few months I will be blogging about the creative process as defined by Robert Fritz. I know without a doubt that this framework works amazingly well, so it’s time to apply it to my life once again. If you’d like to create new realities for yourself in 2011, please join me here to apply the process to your life. I’d love the company!